By: Kim Scott
As I mentioned in my episode, Answered Prayer, I wrote a “fairy tale” for our daughter to explain how she came to us.
I read this story to her for years. It helped in many ways that she always knew that “a special angel” gave her to us.
But as open as we were, I believe she carries deep feelings of abandonment and rejection. While she has never spoken those words, it’s something I feel in my heart, knowing who she is and the insecurities she grapples with. I think it’s natural to wonder “why did my biological mother give me up for adoption?” Especially when you learn she has two other daughters.
Well I hope and pray that one day, she has the courage to ask the question directly to her birthmother and I hope that it brings her deep understanding, peace, and comfort.
I’m sure there are a ton of other questions she wants to ask and as her mom who has loved and raised her and yes, has given her life, I deeply want this for her.
I would like to take this opportunity to educate those who do not have adopted children. People have often asked me, “Does she know her REAL mom?”
I have tried to explain with kindness that I am her REAL mom - and that the woman who carried her in her womb is her “birthmother.”
As much as I care about this woman, she is not my daughter’s mom. She happened to give my daughter life…and she gave me a gift for which I will never be able to fully express my gratitude…except that I believe we raised our daughter in a home of love and acceptance and empowerment.
I still have difficulty with “Mother’s Day” - I know and I accept that I became a mom the way God had planned.
Although I’ve gotten better over the years, it still remains difficult knowing that I didn’t carry my daughter in my womb. I’m not part of that “club.” That’s a wound that will be with me forever. And that’s a wound that flares up when people say, “blood is thicker than water.” I hate that saying. In my experience, no, it is not.
There is none of my blood running through my daughter’s veins…but I would go through fire for her…I would lay down my own life for her.
And so I share these sentiments in hopes of educating and enlightening your awareness of what it’s like to be an adoptive family. And I thank you in advance for appreciating this insight and tucking it away for the next time you meet and talk with an adoptive family.
The woman the hospital was named after, Mother Frances Siedliska, founded an order of religious sisters called The Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth. I didn’t know this when I said to Gary in the hospital that I felt like Mary and Joseph. God is good.
I believe that Mary, the Mother of God, and Mother Frances covered us in prayer and grace and goodness during our time in the hospital. I am grateful to God for our little holy family. Amen!
Here is the fairy tale…
Once upon a time, there lived a handsome king and a beautiful queen. And they loved each other so very much. But they were a little lonely and sad because they wanted a baby princess. They tried and tried and tried but they could not make one.
They lived in a wonderful castle, but the castle was empty and quiet. From time to time, they had parties and celebrations and they invited many of their family and friends. When the castle was filled with people and children, the castle came alive with laughter and joy. The king and queen especially loved hearing children at play in their castle. But when the parties ended, everyone left and went back to their homes. And again, the castle was empty and quiet.
But the king and the queen had great faith in God and they prayed and prayed and prayed for a baby princess. And then one day, an angel on earth came their way. She had a special gift chosen just for them - a baby princess!
The angel loved the baby princess because the princess was very, very special. And she carried the princess in her belly to keep her warm and safe until the princess was ready to come out.
When the princess came out of the angel’s belly to live here on earth, the angel made a special sacrifice and she gave the baby princess to the king and the queen because she knew the king and the queen would love the baby princess and take good care of her.
The king and the queen loved the baby princess and cherished her. And when they brought her home, the castle came alive and was filled with laughter and joy. And as the baby princess grew up to become a little girl, they all shared many wonderful moments together.
The king and queen felt special and loved by God because of such a wonderful gift that was given to them. The princess completed their family. The king and the queen’s hearts were filled with love and joy.
The king and the queen and the princess lived together as a family in the castle filled with love, laughter, and joy. They were blessed by God and by the special angel and each and every night when they said their prayers, they always gave thanks by saying,
“Thank you God and thank you special angel for bringing our family together.”
And they lived happily ever after.
Empower Hope and Healing.
Kim
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